Believe it or not, I hoped.
Hard it is to fathom, but I prayed.
Inside me, I had faith.
But now that the things that I have coped.
Losses that I have endured.
Fears that I have conquered.
Things I have foregone.
Pain that I have felt
It crashes down upon me, all over again.
The old wounds ripped apart.
The feeling of loneliness, isolated from the crowd.
Left with nothing, standing in the middle of nowhere.
Oh yeah, I have tried.
Tried to regain my faith.
But I guess now it's too late.
The clock is ticking away
Time is passing by
Darkness ahead
No light at the end of the tunnel
I wonder why I kiss failure again and again?
Maybe its meant to be, supposed to be
But no one can force happiness onto me.
I guess I was meant to lose the battle, the gamble.
For my path has always been strewn with bramble.
All I see ahead is sorrow, pain, failure, disappointment.
At losing the gamble of life.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Innovations!
Every summer, I read the whole Harry Potter series all over again. Some people might term this as an obssessive behavior, but for me, there is nothing better than curling up with Harry Potter on a sofa, and exploring the magical world with Harry!
Not only it is an awesome time passer, but ALSO it is a source of great inspiration.
Quite interestingly, an inspiration struck my sister, and she exclaimed "HEyyy! Why don't you write the past..like before Harry and about Voldemort's life from Voldemort's point of view, and the mischief done by the Marauders (James Potter, Peter Pettrigew, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black).
and I was skeptical. Seriously, J.K.Rowling should write this herself! But then I thought..Why not post it on my blog? and invite other people to give ideas? And Yes, indeed, this will become an interesting every week story for all the Harry Potter fans out there!
Not only it is an awesome time passer, but ALSO it is a source of great inspiration.
Quite interestingly, an inspiration struck my sister, and she exclaimed "HEyyy! Why don't you write the past..like before Harry and about Voldemort's life from Voldemort's point of view, and the mischief done by the Marauders (James Potter, Peter Pettrigew, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black).
and I was skeptical. Seriously, J.K.Rowling should write this herself! But then I thought..Why not post it on my blog? and invite other people to give ideas? And Yes, indeed, this will become an interesting every week story for all the Harry Potter fans out there!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Tonight. Just a Poetry I read
Do not strike the chord of sorrow tonight!
Days burning with pain turn to ashes.
Who knows what happens tomorrow?
Last night is lost; tomorrow's frontier wiped out:
Who knows if there will be another dawn?
Life is nothing, it's only tonight!
Tonight we can be what the gods are!
Do not strike the chord of sorrow, tonight!
Do not repeat stories of sufferings now,
Do not complain, let your fate play its role,
Do not think of tomorrows, give a damn--
Shed no tears for seasons gone by,
All sighs and cries wind up their tales,
Oh, do not strike the same chord again!
Days burning with pain turn to ashes.
Who knows what happens tomorrow?
Last night is lost; tomorrow's frontier wiped out:
Who knows if there will be another dawn?
Life is nothing, it's only tonight!
Tonight we can be what the gods are!
Do not strike the chord of sorrow, tonight!
Do not repeat stories of sufferings now,
Do not complain, let your fate play its role,
Do not think of tomorrows, give a damn--
Shed no tears for seasons gone by,
All sighs and cries wind up their tales,
Oh, do not strike the same chord again!
Beautiful Poetry by Faiz Ahmed Faiz.
At Night My lost Memory of You returned
And I was like the empty field where spring time,
without being notice is bringing flowers;
I was like the desert over which, the
breeze moves gently with great care,
I was like the dying patient who, for no reason smiles.
.......................................
If you look at the city from here, you'd realize
that in the entire crowd there's nobody really dignified
nobody truly sagacious;
Every young man's in a noose
every woman a branded slave. (So true!)
And I was like the empty field where spring time,
without being notice is bringing flowers;
I was like the desert over which, the
breeze moves gently with great care,
I was like the dying patient who, for no reason smiles.
.......................................
If you look at the city from here, you'd realize
that in the entire crowd there's nobody really dignified
nobody truly sagacious;
Every young man's in a noose
every woman a branded slave. (So true!)
Random thoughts
A thing that has been disturbed.
The equlibrium rocked.
Who would believe? Who would care?
and what if illusions will be shattered?
Dreams might be broken.
So what if the heart is desolate?
and the mind numb?
A calm, deadly stillness.
There is no one out there.
Alone you are.
Cry you might.
But the tears just don't come out.
The equlibrium rocked.
Who would believe? Who would care?
and what if illusions will be shattered?
Dreams might be broken.
So what if the heart is desolate?
and the mind numb?
A calm, deadly stillness.
There is no one out there.
Alone you are.
Cry you might.
But the tears just don't come out.
The harsh Reality.
Disillusioned. Blinded. The world dark. No hope. When has hope ever given happiness? It always has led to misery. For dreams to be shattered. And everythin' to be destroyed.
Everythin' can be replaced. There is no place in this world for regrets. No time to hope. There is only the time to achieve. To find your own way.
Because it's a selfish world. Miseries, bloodshed, cries, pain, hunger........
Maybe thats how life is. or maybe I am just seeing the black and white version. Or maybe there are no colors.
Everythin' can be replaced. There is no place in this world for regrets. No time to hope. There is only the time to achieve. To find your own way.
Because it's a selfish world. Miseries, bloodshed, cries, pain, hunger........
Maybe thats how life is. or maybe I am just seeing the black and white version. Or maybe there are no colors.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
The Vampire Vogue
It is quite amusing that during one of the entertainment session of a Model United Nations (MUN) conference, the delegate of El Salvador-a guy, stands up and shouts, “A motion to vote that Edward Cullen is NOT hot”, at which the entire General Assembly bursts out laughing and nearly all of the females in the room, after the laughter, break out in mock outrage. One delegate stands up and starts to make a speech why and how Edward Cullen is hot.
Edward Cullen, most of us know, is the sparkly vampire of Stephanie Meyer’s series “Twilight”. Brooding, extremely handsome, ultimately handsome, he managed to capture the hearts of nearly all the female fans who read the series. Existing for eternity and promising love and trust to Bella Swan for all eternity, he is every girl’s dream come true. After all, who doesn’t want undying love?
The reason as to why I relate the MUN experience is because, though, I had read the series (I cannot just NOT read any book which is so much spoken about), was that the subject was so popular, even among guys. Well, apparently, the guys had a lot to live up to. And well, the girls needed another hero. Harry Potter had called the quits after Rowling finished off the series in 2007. But it was not until 2008 that Edward Cullen became really popular. I step into all famous bookstores, such as Liberty Books, and there is a huge shelf of hardcover “Twilight” and special diaries with musky Edward quotes all over. Open up bumper stickers on Facebook, and on every single page, there is at least ONE twilight sticker.
And then the CW series in 2009, “The Vampire Diaries” aired, and quite rocked the female world. Girls got torn between the sweet yet brooding Stephan and his older brother, Damon, with his amazingly gorgeous green eyes, cheekbones and smile, and the whole aura of mystery, and not to mention the dark sarcastic humor. The series was based on the book by the same name by L.J.Smith which actually became popular after the series was aired. Well, the books were quite disappointing and didn’t truly capture the whole vampire scenario and the whole grotesque blood images, and of course, Damon that were so artfully displayed on TV.
However, what I do not understand myself is why do all vampire series get so much popularity. Is it because of the whole drama associated with the killing and murdering? Or is it because most of the vampires are ridiculously handsome, or is it because the female fans need someone to drool over? After all, caring and loving guys do not exactly grown on trees! Whatever the reason, it is very much decided that the Vampire Vogue will remain, for people anticipate Season 2 of “The Vampire Diaries”, which is due in September. And the third movie of the Twilight series is just round the corner! And right now, all I can think of…why are there no bumper stickers on Damon? And his witty expressions?!
Edward Cullen, most of us know, is the sparkly vampire of Stephanie Meyer’s series “Twilight”. Brooding, extremely handsome, ultimately handsome, he managed to capture the hearts of nearly all the female fans who read the series. Existing for eternity and promising love and trust to Bella Swan for all eternity, he is every girl’s dream come true. After all, who doesn’t want undying love?
The reason as to why I relate the MUN experience is because, though, I had read the series (I cannot just NOT read any book which is so much spoken about), was that the subject was so popular, even among guys. Well, apparently, the guys had a lot to live up to. And well, the girls needed another hero. Harry Potter had called the quits after Rowling finished off the series in 2007. But it was not until 2008 that Edward Cullen became really popular. I step into all famous bookstores, such as Liberty Books, and there is a huge shelf of hardcover “Twilight” and special diaries with musky Edward quotes all over. Open up bumper stickers on Facebook, and on every single page, there is at least ONE twilight sticker.
And then the CW series in 2009, “The Vampire Diaries” aired, and quite rocked the female world. Girls got torn between the sweet yet brooding Stephan and his older brother, Damon, with his amazingly gorgeous green eyes, cheekbones and smile, and the whole aura of mystery, and not to mention the dark sarcastic humor. The series was based on the book by the same name by L.J.Smith which actually became popular after the series was aired. Well, the books were quite disappointing and didn’t truly capture the whole vampire scenario and the whole grotesque blood images, and of course, Damon that were so artfully displayed on TV.
However, what I do not understand myself is why do all vampire series get so much popularity. Is it because of the whole drama associated with the killing and murdering? Or is it because most of the vampires are ridiculously handsome, or is it because the female fans need someone to drool over? After all, caring and loving guys do not exactly grown on trees! Whatever the reason, it is very much decided that the Vampire Vogue will remain, for people anticipate Season 2 of “The Vampire Diaries”, which is due in September. And the third movie of the Twilight series is just round the corner! And right now, all I can think of…why are there no bumper stickers on Damon? And his witty expressions?!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Rain! Go away!
There was a time when the citizens of Karachi used to hunger for a few droplets of rain, a little booming thunder, sky overcast, and some thundering winds. Needless to say, yours truly was also one of them. But times have changed. The sky darkening is not really a bright aspect anymore. In fact, the darkening of the sky mirrors my mood, for it’s been long since I have truly enjoyed the rain. When a little droplet of rain falls from the sky, it doesn’t really result in a whoop of excitement from me, when heavy rain pelts down, there is an ever-increasing worry. Alas! The memories of childhood, when I would run to the roof to sing and dance in the rain, to pray to God that the rain doesn’t stop for anytime soon.. well.. these have just become a thing of the past.
I write this on July 06, 2010. My weather channel forecast predicts heavy rain for tomorrow, an 80% chance. I had to cancel my plans for a day out with my friends tomorrow, because of this dreaded rain. Well, no one really understands why I use the word ‘dreaded’. Some would, but the majority would not.
It’s quite cruel, but perhaps this IS life, that I used to read in the newspaper about the destruction caused by rain to people who live in slum areas or who have no roof over their heads, or who do not have drainage facilities. I also never really understood why the maids never come when it’s raining very hard. Well, now it’s quite real to me. All of it.
The inadequate drainage system of Karachi (a beautiful city, I love it here!), is the reason for the major worries caused by the rain in Pakistan. Quite ironically, the city of Karachi is also called the City of Lights, but a little droplet of rain results in intensive load-shedding.
But why go about what we read in the newspaper? Why watch how many people have been made homeless by the extensive rain? Let us not rely on statistics, but on personal experience.
August 17, 2006. The first time life was basically turned upside down for a good two months. There was heavy rain, thunder boomed, and something quite unexpected happened. Due to the low lying area in which my house is built, and the gutters which backfired, dark, murky water actually came inside the house! We were forced to flee on the roof, because it was quite unbearable to EVEN sit in the house, due to the smelly water. WELL, the water in the streets was at least 5 feet high, and in the house, well, it was a good 2 feet. And all of the time, there was only one thing on my mind…What will happen to our stuff? When the next day, the rain halted, and some rays of sunlight came, we ventured downstairs to see literally everything destroyed. Books, furniture, electrical appliances. It wasn’t that the rain was too heavy. It was only because there is no adequate drainage system; the gutters are not cleaned regularly by the municipal government. And well, no one actually bothered to cover the losses that were incurred by majority of the houses in the area in which I live in.
The most frustrating thing is that there is no solution to this problem. At our end, we can clean our house gutters, but what about the MAIN gutters who have not been cleaned for AGES? And what about the fact that on the left hand side of our area, there is an army residential area, who seem to think that OUR area is the appropriate drainage system for THEIR rain water? Oh. They just open up all the pipes, so that the gutters that are already groaning under our society’s rain water, also have to taken in the water of other society? And during meetings with them, they were quite uncooperative. And THEN my friends ask why I am so opposed to the army! Well, they might get to enjoy the rain, but I am forced to put away my belongings in a safe place, and I am forced to clean the house every time it rains and the water comes inside the house.
The problem lies unsolved even after four years. At our end, we have built walls around the gutters so that the water doesn’t come. But we never know whether it will work. And every time, the clouds gather on the sky, oh, no! I don’t think of something nice. I don’t think of pakoras! I don’t think of running out in the rain, and laughing my heart out. For laughing out aloud will be like laughing at myself! There is hardly ANYTHING romantic about running around in the smelly water, gathering the possessions and fleeing to friends or relatives house for a few days so that we don’t have to abide in OUR smelly house, which by the way, we have to clean after the rain finally stops.
There is, however, no point ranting on and on, no one really listens. Everyone is self absorbed in their worlds, and let’s just forget about the government. Only thing is, rain is NOT a bright prospect. Rain is NOT romantic. And I pray every monsoon season that it doesn’t rain!
I write this on July 06, 2010. My weather channel forecast predicts heavy rain for tomorrow, an 80% chance. I had to cancel my plans for a day out with my friends tomorrow, because of this dreaded rain. Well, no one really understands why I use the word ‘dreaded’. Some would, but the majority would not.
It’s quite cruel, but perhaps this IS life, that I used to read in the newspaper about the destruction caused by rain to people who live in slum areas or who have no roof over their heads, or who do not have drainage facilities. I also never really understood why the maids never come when it’s raining very hard. Well, now it’s quite real to me. All of it.
The inadequate drainage system of Karachi (a beautiful city, I love it here!), is the reason for the major worries caused by the rain in Pakistan. Quite ironically, the city of Karachi is also called the City of Lights, but a little droplet of rain results in intensive load-shedding.
But why go about what we read in the newspaper? Why watch how many people have been made homeless by the extensive rain? Let us not rely on statistics, but on personal experience.
August 17, 2006. The first time life was basically turned upside down for a good two months. There was heavy rain, thunder boomed, and something quite unexpected happened. Due to the low lying area in which my house is built, and the gutters which backfired, dark, murky water actually came inside the house! We were forced to flee on the roof, because it was quite unbearable to EVEN sit in the house, due to the smelly water. WELL, the water in the streets was at least 5 feet high, and in the house, well, it was a good 2 feet. And all of the time, there was only one thing on my mind…What will happen to our stuff? When the next day, the rain halted, and some rays of sunlight came, we ventured downstairs to see literally everything destroyed. Books, furniture, electrical appliances. It wasn’t that the rain was too heavy. It was only because there is no adequate drainage system; the gutters are not cleaned regularly by the municipal government. And well, no one actually bothered to cover the losses that were incurred by majority of the houses in the area in which I live in.
The most frustrating thing is that there is no solution to this problem. At our end, we can clean our house gutters, but what about the MAIN gutters who have not been cleaned for AGES? And what about the fact that on the left hand side of our area, there is an army residential area, who seem to think that OUR area is the appropriate drainage system for THEIR rain water? Oh. They just open up all the pipes, so that the gutters that are already groaning under our society’s rain water, also have to taken in the water of other society? And during meetings with them, they were quite uncooperative. And THEN my friends ask why I am so opposed to the army! Well, they might get to enjoy the rain, but I am forced to put away my belongings in a safe place, and I am forced to clean the house every time it rains and the water comes inside the house.
The problem lies unsolved even after four years. At our end, we have built walls around the gutters so that the water doesn’t come. But we never know whether it will work. And every time, the clouds gather on the sky, oh, no! I don’t think of something nice. I don’t think of pakoras! I don’t think of running out in the rain, and laughing my heart out. For laughing out aloud will be like laughing at myself! There is hardly ANYTHING romantic about running around in the smelly water, gathering the possessions and fleeing to friends or relatives house for a few days so that we don’t have to abide in OUR smelly house, which by the way, we have to clean after the rain finally stops.
There is, however, no point ranting on and on, no one really listens. Everyone is self absorbed in their worlds, and let’s just forget about the government. Only thing is, rain is NOT a bright prospect. Rain is NOT romantic. And I pray every monsoon season that it doesn’t rain!
Reality
A terrible sense of foreboding.
And angels going on the long distance flight.
Demons comin upon, to stay.
And everything to be plunged..plunged into darkness
Who would have ever thought?
Who would have ever known?
It takes one small mistake..
one second to change everything..
Was I living in a dream?
Or is this a nightmare?
What is reality?
and what does the future hold?
Questions plague me.
Answers don't come to me.
And even I know, I just can't let it be.
No way to change, no way to solve..
Seems like everything is crashing down on me
My whole life splitting apart.
I want a refuge. A place to hide.
A place to seek repose.
It was all true for me, yes.
Happiness never lasts
Maybe I was right to sense the doom.
Was it inevitable?
Maybe I wasn't meant to feel this way.
But I couldnt keep my emotions at bay.
And everything is lost, shattered.
and I can't even seem to gather the pieces.
And angels going on the long distance flight.
Demons comin upon, to stay.
And everything to be plunged..plunged into darkness
Who would have ever thought?
Who would have ever known?
It takes one small mistake..
one second to change everything..
Was I living in a dream?
Or is this a nightmare?
What is reality?
and what does the future hold?
Questions plague me.
Answers don't come to me.
And even I know, I just can't let it be.
No way to change, no way to solve..
Seems like everything is crashing down on me
My whole life splitting apart.
I want a refuge. A place to hide.
A place to seek repose.
It was all true for me, yes.
Happiness never lasts
Maybe I was right to sense the doom.
Was it inevitable?
Maybe I wasn't meant to feel this way.
But I couldnt keep my emotions at bay.
And everything is lost, shattered.
and I can't even seem to gather the pieces.
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